The Long Winter #22
Sex, Lies, and Digital Videos Uploads 2 part one
“I’ve been looking forward to seeing you all week!”
“I haven’t, I see myself in the mirror every day.”
Penny laughed at Delaney and they walked down the street between the University and the Institute for the parking lot where Delaney had parked her tired, old car. Low brick walls ran along the edge of the two campuses with trees providing the last bits of shade as the leaves lit up with color and fell. They walked hand-in-mittened-hand as the cold wind blew at them from the north, sending drying leaves skittering around their feet. Gray clouds hung heavy with the threat of more cold rain overhead, and the two girls picked up their pace until they were running for Delaney’s car—
“Del, hey!”
Delaney stopped and dropped Penny’s hand like it was suddenly lava-hot.
“Oh, Sammy, Nadine, hi,” Delaney took a halting step towards a slim boy in a baseball hat and a curvy brunette in hips-flattering jeans and a bust-enhancing jacket.
“Who’s this you’re with?” Nadine asked with a hint of teasing in her dark eyes.
“This? Oh, this is my friend, Penny Stark, she goes to the Gravenreuth Institute,” Delaney said, half gesturing at her friend. “Penny, this is Sammy Lewis and Nadine Dow, friends of mine up here.”
“Nice to meet you,” Penny said, forgetting to not bow in greeting as she covered her rage with a smile. Friend? Your FRIEND??
“You know, you look familiar,” Sammy said, tapping his chin as he stared at her face.
“Where are you from?” Nadine asked.
“Port Matthew.”
“Wow, Port Matthew!” Sammy’s momentary thoughtfulness vanished in the wake of an astonished smile. “Did you know Del’s from New York? You two sure you’re not endangering the rest of us by hanging out together?” He laughed.
“Relax, Sammy, they’re just friends,” Nadine said, leering at Penny. “What danger can two “friends” bring about just by hanging out with each other?”
“Well, I just don’t want to get their big-city Super Cooties,” Sammy said. Then he turned to Delaney and Penny. “So listen, there’s a thing tonight over at Brewer’s house. You coming?”
“No, we already have plans,” Delaney said. “Maybe next time.”
“Oh, plans? Are you getting yourself into a fancy Institute party?” Sammy said.
“Nothing like that—”
“I don’t like to go to parties,” Penny said.
“Well, we’re going to go eat up at the Quad, you can join us if you like.”
“I doubt they’re interested, Sammy, they have “plans,”” Nadine said, stopping just short of winking at the couple. “Well, Del, if you guys finish with your “plans” early just text me, I’ll let you know what’s going on.”
“Thanks, bye, Nadine, Sammy.”
Nadine and Sammy smiled and waved and then Delaney was rushing Penny to her car, a red Hyundai Santa Fe with a dent behind the rear fender but, amazingly, no visible rust beneath the accumulating road grime, as the first icy drops began to fall. She unlocked it and they got in, slamming the doors shut and Delaney slumped back into her seat and sighed. She had her eyes closed and was oblivious to the glare on Penny’s face.
“Friends, neh?”
“What?” Delaney reached forward and started the car, casting a quick glance at Penny.
“You didn’t introduce me as your girlfriend.”
“Oh. I guess I didn’t.”
“That’s it?”
“What should I say? I’m sorry? I am. I just… I don’t know. I admire you for how open and comfortable you are. I’m just…”
“Well, I’d hate to make you uncomfortable—“ Penny reached for the door handle, but Delaney grabbed her arm and pulled her back.
“I’m sorry,” she said. “I really am. I love being with you. I’ve never had a relationship like this before, unlike some of my boyfriends it seems like we actually have things in common, and also unlike them I feel like you actually care about my feelings.”
“But you don’t care enough in return to introduce me to your friends as your girlfriend.”
Delaney looked away.
“What would you have done if I had said something?”
“But you didn’t, thank god.”
Penny made a disgusted sound and reached for the door again.
“Wait, stop! I’m sorry!”
Penny stopped, her hand on the door handle. Delaney leaned over the center console, tears welling up in her eyes and Penny felt her anger crumble. Delaney was so pretty, and those foxy green eyes locked Penny into place. She sank back against her seat and Delaney put her hand on Penny’s leg.
“I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have said that.”
“But you did. You would have been thinking it even if you hadn’t said it.” Penny crossed her arms and pouted but she knew she was already forgiving Delaney.
“I’m sorry. I shouldn’t be thinking it at all. Like I said, I admire you, how strong you are, how comfortable you are with this whole thing.”
“You still hold my hand in public. And I think your “friend” Nadine saw us, too. You heard how she was referring to us.”
“I guess…”
“Unless you have a reputation for having lots of “friends.””
“I do not.” Delaney pulled back from Penny and pouted back at her. “I hoped I had not given you that idea about me.”
Penny kept her eyes narrow as she met Delaney’s weaponized pout.
“You had not. But Nadine seems to have an idea about us. This might be something you’ll be forced to deal with.”
Delaney’s pout broke and she bit her lip and looked out the window as the rain began in earnest. She nodded and, after a too-long (to Penny) moment, she whirled back around and leaned across the center console and kissed her girlfriend. Penny almost pulled away, but Delaney’s hands were on her face, her own hands up into Delaney’s hair and she kissed back until they were meeting each other in the middle of the car. They shared a short laugh when the kiss ended they glanced around. While certainly more open with her sexuality than Delaney, Penny still had no desire to get caught making out with someone in a crowded parking lot. No one was around to see and Delaney backed out of the parking spot.
“I’ll make it up to you tonight,” she said.
“Oh really?”
“We won’t soon forget what we're going to do.”
Delaney put the car in drive and grabbed Penny’s hand, squeezing it. Her apartment suddenly seemed too far away for the fire Delaney’s naughty smile lit in Penny’s chest.
***
Delaney buried her face in Penny’s hair. The half-Asian girl felt so small, so delicate in her embrace she hesitated before squeezing her tight. It was impossible to hold on to Penny forever, but at that moment she hoped if she squeezed hard enough she could.
“I had a long-term girlfriend before I came here,” Penny said, her voice soft.
“You haven’t said much about her, but I can tell she was important to you.”
“She still is.” Penny took a deep breath. “Our breakup was mutual. We promised to move on with our lives. She’s working at her parents’ restaurant and wants to take over someday. I’m now on the opposite side of the world in a whole different country and was settling into the idea of just studying.”
“Oh.”
Delaney shifted, rolling away from Penny. Penny rolled with her, laying her head in that perfect spot just below Delaney’s collarbone and throwing her leg over Delaney’s.
“I didn’t have any plans to go out with anyone up here. But I’m really happy I met you.” Penny held Delaney tight in her arms, snuggling up as close as she could.
“You miss your ex-girlfriend?”
“Not so much anymore. We both knew it would be over after we graduated, so I guess since I had the idea in my head it’s been easier to move on.”
“That’s good.”
Penny laughed. “She said to me that she thought about doing something terrible to end our relationship, but I’m glad we had the time together that we had.”
“That’s good.”
“I suppose. I wanted to tell you this because I want you to know what’s in my heart.”
Delaney frowned down at the top of Penny’s head.
“You were right. I won’t forget tonight. You really made me feel wonderful and I’m grateful.”
Penny lifted herself up and laid back down on top of Delaney. She pressed her lips down on Delaney’s, pressed her hips as well, and Delaney sighed with pleasure despite the talk of Penny’s ex. Delaney’s hands came up and she wrapped her arms around her girlfriend, felt the firm, smooth curve of her back and bottom, wrapped her legs around Penny as well, unable to get as close as she wanted to the half-Asian girl.
It struck her that maybe that was their curse. Penny told her of her ex-girlfriend, an effort to bare her soul to Delaney, but all it did was remind Delaney she was not quite ready for something like this with someone like Penny. And after what she went through in high school, she wondered if she would ever be ready for something like this with someone at all. Something like what Penny had with her ex-girlfriend.
And yet, she kissed Penny back, unwilling to capitulate to those thoughts. Penny’s exciting body begged to be touched everywhere, and who was she to deny it? She was Penny’s girlfriend, for that night and at least for one more day, and was powerless to stop herself just as she had been that evening she laid eyes on the sulking, exotic girl in her restaurant. She almost wanted to make Penny sulk like that again, if only to be able to see the change in her eyes when she made the half-Asian girl smile. She rolled on top of Penny and smiled at her instead.
“What’s so funny?” Penny asked.
“I don’t know why I offered to help you that night.”
Penny’s expression darkened and Delaney knew her girlfriend was thinking about Geri.
“I’m glad you did, but—“
“I think about that sometimes, like, why did I do that? I didn’t know anything about you, or whatever situation you were in, but anyone watching could see how bad it was.”
“It was pretty terrible. I told you what she said to me at the café.”
“You’re a more real lesbian than I am, and I’m sorry for that. I guess it’s something I still am dealing with.”
Penny nodded. Delaney kissed her again but the passion had vanished. Delaney slid to Penny’s side and pushed her hair back behind her ear. Penny looked up at her, unblinking in the dim light streaming through the window from a nearby streetlight. Delaney let her hand fall to Penny’s head. She stroked Penny’s cheek.
“Maybe this is all I’m worth,” Penny said.
“What?”
“I’m still, well, I say I’ve gotten over my ex-girlfriend, but she’s still obviously on my mind. Do I have any right to get mad at you because you won’t introduce me to your friends as your girlfriend?”
“I would probably be mad if our positions were reversed.”
“It’s definitely understandable, and if I was more selfish I’d definitely still be mad about it. Instead I came here and had sex with you. But maybe this is all I have to give. Maybe this is all I’m worth. Just a, what do you call it? A sex-friend?”
“Friend with benefits,” Delaney said, falling to her back beside Penny. “That’s what we call it.”
“Oh. Benefits. I suppose this is a benefit.” Penny rolled to her side and looked down at Delaney. “I didn’t mean to make you upset. I’m sorry.”
“You didn’t. I’ve just, well, my last two boyfriends made no effort to hide how they thought of our relationship.”
“And now you’re hoping that I wasn’t looking at you the same way.”
Penny surprised Delaney by laughing. Not a loud, raucous laugh, that would be too jarring for an intimate moment in the middle of the night. Her soft, tinkling giggle made Delaney smile and they embraced each other once again.
“Maybe we’re not on the same page,” Penny said. “But at least we’re in the same book.”
And Delaney smiled back. They kissed one last time and then Penny curled up in Delaney’s arms and was soon asleep. Delaney squeezed her one last time and then closed her own eyes. It was a long time before she finally slept. Something told her she needed to enjoy every moment Penny was with her.
Follow The Long Winter into Sex, Lies, and Digital Video Uploads 2 part two here.