The Long Winter #29

Fortunate Daughter part one

Sunday morning was cold and gloomy. Heavy dark clouds hung low over Lake Superior but no wind blew leaving the surface glassy smooth. The trees had shed their leaves over the previous weeks, allowing a clear view of the calm lake. Penny wished it was storming out there, that rain was whipping against the window and the lake was raging somewhere beyond. Instead it was quiet in Professor Fairchild’s office. She sat with the casually-dressed woman in the visitor’s chairs in front of her desk. The half-Asian girl drew a deep breath, proud of relating the entire story without breaking into tears.

“…and then I came back.”

“That’s, rather, uh, harrowing,” Professor Fairchild said. “Are you all right? You said your friend Leah Stewart was involved?”

“It was her friend that showed everyone the videos. I’m not sure we’re friends anymore.”

“You might want to talk to her. She doesn’t strike me as the sort of person who does things like this. This Mason, though, he definitely sounds like a criminal. This was a criminal act.”

“Yes…” Penny took another deep breath. Her hold over her tears was starting to weaken. Everyone had seen her at that party. And those who were not there were sure to be shown by Braden and Geri. Her humiliated ex-girlfriend Delaney became a tragic casualty of Penny’s shameful past.

“I’ll get in contact with Professor Jansen today, he’s head of the law school, and we’ll collect Braden Garies to reprimand him as well.”

“I’m afraid it won’t be stopped there, though. I don’t know how I’m going to even show my face in class any more. Not after everyone saw the videos…”

“How bad were they?”

Tears ran down Penny’s cheeks and she looked away.

“So, fairly explicit, then.”

“I have no idea how he got such a clear image,” Penny said, her voice cracking.

“You’re going to be okay,” Professor Fairchild said. She moved over to Penny’s chair and gathered the girl in her arms. “You’ll get through this. You got through it once already, by the sounds of it.”

“Am I going to have to go through this every time I move somewhere new? It doesn’t seem fair to me.”

“It’s not. It’s definitely not fair. But life isn’t, you know. Of course you know. I’m sorry, what a trite thing to say.”

Penny nodded and laughed between her weak sobs.

“A college boyfriend of mine kept some elicit pictures of me. I remember begging him to delete them, and he swore he did but I seriously doubt it.” Professor Fairchild set her cheek down on top of Penny’s head. “In his position I would have lied and kept them. I was fairly attractive when I was younger. So I think that’s what he did. If I was a gambler I would bet he still has them.”

“You’re still so pretty,” Penny said.

“You’re kind to say that, but I know my own age.”

Professor Fairchild pulled back and they laughed together.

“Come on. You look hungry. I’ll bet you haven’t had many chances to try the restaurants in town. I’ll treat you to brunch. That’ll be the first thing we do to start putting this behind you. It won’t be any easier after brunch is over, but we will be able to get through it.”

“Thank you, Professor Fairchild.”

“You’re welcome. And since we’re not teacher-and-student at this exact moment, please call me Gwen.”

“I’ll try.”

Gwen Fairchild laughed and then stood up and helped Penny to her feet. She showed her young charge out the door and stopped to watch it click shut behind them. The building was largely empty, being a Sunday morning, and Gwen talked about the weather as they walked down the hall for the stairs.

“I heard about the November gales,” Penny said. “I saw pictures before I came up here. If I had a wetsuit I would go surf.”

“You surf?”

“I do. I started last year with my friends, and before I came here I spent my last few days with my girlfriend on our boards, most of the time just floating.”

“Just floating…”

“Yes. It was very nice. I really miss those days right now.”

“I’ll bet. But look, I’ll see what I can do about the wetsuit. The Ad has a selection of sporting goods available to us, students and faculty and staff alike. It wouldn’t surprise me to find out they have wetsuits and surfboards, too.”

“Really? You think they do?”

“If they do I’ll brave the cold to go surfing with you.”

“I didn’t know you surfed.”

“Oh, I don’t but I know it would be a great bonding experience for you to teach me something.”

They laughed as they stepped out into the cold and Penny stopped just beyond the door. Braden Garies’ high-pitched laugh echoed across the campus and he appeared right around the corner. His attention fell on her and he put a shit-eating smile on his face and sauntered right up to them, leaving a friend of his behind with a dismissive gesture.

“Good morning, Mr. Garies.”

Braden's eyes skipped right past Professor Fairchild and he smirked at Penny.

“What are you doing up so early, Conchita? I’d have figured after that booze shower you took you’d need to sleep off a major hangover!”

“I’m not Mexican—wait, I took? You and your friends dumped your drinks on me!”

“Whatever, you were asking for it—“

“Mr. Garies, this is a matter we’ll be bringing before the Board of Directors. It is definitely something your father is going to hear about, and we can make sure it is in the news cycle as well. If you would like to continue insulting young Miss Stark—“

“What the hell? Who the fuck are you?”

“I’m Gwen Fairchild, Department Head of Engineering in Hampton Labs.”

“What the fuck?” Braden glared at Penny. “You fucking bitch, you went and tattled first thing in the morning? I can’t fucking believe you, you slant-eyed little slut. You’re going to pay for this. This stupid-ass institute, this whole fuckin’ university complex! If you even try to pin this on me—“

“It is on you!” Penny said. “You and whoever that Mason person is.”

“Fine.” Braden pulled out a notebook and glowered at the two of them. “How much is this going to cost me? What do you want? A new wardrobe?” He sneered at Penny. “You sure do need it.” Then he sneered at Professor Fairchild. “Maybe you could do with a night on my bed under me.”

“Be ready with your lawyers,” Professor Fairchild answered. “Professor Jansen is aware of what happened last night already.”

“What? He is not. Max rides in the mornings—“

“And whatever you do, do not share that video with anyone else.”

“What video? Oh, you mean those fucking porns this little slut made?” Braden’s high-pitched mocking laughter rang in the cold air between the Institute’s two main academic buildings. “I’d have sent them to everyone on the Institute servers, I’ll bet even a stiff-ass old lady like you would have gotten off on them, they were hot as hell!”

“Braden, that’s enough. You’ll be hearing from the board later.”

“Yeah right, the board will be hearing from me! This is harassment! She’s all lies!”

Braden laughed at them and ran off, disappearing around the corner of Miller Hall with his friend in tow.

“Wow. I didn’t realize it was possible to hate someone this much.” Penny's teeth were clenched, her little fists shaking at her sides and she felt out of breath despite having only been standing there through the conversation.

“Relax, Penny. Let’s go get that brunch we were talking about.”

“Is he really going to turn this on me?”

“He’ll try.”

“Can he?”

“The board will listen to me. We’ll investigate the sorority and they’ll want to talk to you and your friends, and probably anyone else they can locate. Unfortunately, this isn’t over for you.”

“I know. But I’m so grateful for all your help.”

Professor Fairchild—that is, Gwen, smiled at Penny, a warm, familiar smile. She put her hand around Penny’s waist and gave her a light squeeze.

“Like I promised you earlier this semester, I’ll be here for you. I know you don’t remember, but we go way back, all the way to your diapers.”

They laughed and Penny continued smiling the rest of the morning. Gwen gave her hope that her issues with her other friends would be so easily smoothed out. But those were problems that could wait for her belly to be full once again.

***

Maddie was glad when the call with her fiancé ended and she could let the fake smile on her face slip. She hung her head over her knees and looked at her feet dangling off the side of her bed. Everything ached. Her stomach was wound in knots. Her temples throbbed. She was amazed she was able to get through the call without vomiting all over the screen.

Why did I drink so much last night?

And then she glanced back at her phone and remembered. He was suspicious of her going out, especially to a sorority party. Her costume was “dumb.” She had better wear a nicer one next year. A sexier one. But not this year. Her friends did not deserve to see her looking her best. She had better not cheat on him. She had better not even talk to another guy.

Except for the waters Clark—I mean, Ralph bought.

She took a shallow breath, wishing she could breathe deeper and clean out her lungs. But her stomach somersaulted and she glanced at the bathroom. It would be easy enough to dart there in case she needed it. She heaved herself to her feet and stopped, wavering in place as her head pounded. She rubbed her forehead and when it was more manageable she glanced out her door. Penny’s room was closed, but her roommate was not still sleeping. She had heard the half-Asian girl rush out several hours earlier on a mission. Maddie walked into her bathroom and washed her face and brushed her teeth and then hobbled to her closet to pick out clothes for the day. Something plain. Something comfortable. The door opened to the suite and Penny walked in as Maddie pulled a pair of sweats on.

“Hi, Penny,” she croaked.

“Oh, hi, Maddie.” Penny stayed in their shared space.

“I’ll be out in a minute.”

“Okay…”

Maddie pulled a warm, fuzzy shirt on and then put a zip-up hoodie over it and was straightening them as she emerged from her room.

“Some night,” Maddie said, retrieving a water from the little fridge behind the couch.

“Yes…” Penny did not look up at her.

“I’m sorry. I have only a vague idea that I was pretty rude to you, but I am truly sorry for it.”

“It’s fine. You were fine.”

Maddie studied her roommate’s face and something tugged at the edges of her memory.

“Did you have fun at the party?”

Penny’s face darkened, and she still did not look up to meet Maddie’s eyes.

“How can you even ask that?”

“What?” Again, that tugging at the edge of her memory, like she was trying to pull a curtain back but it was stuck. Something was behind it. Was it Penny? It was not just her walk with Ralph.

“I—“ Penny finally looked up at her. She was in pain, tears gathered in her eyes, her hands shaking at her side. “It was horrible. You have to remember. Everyone saw it.”

“Saw it…” Maddie’s eyes widened as the curtain was pulled back. “Everyone saw it. I remember. Oh. I’m—“

“Yes. Everyone is going to remember it forever.”

“Where did you go this morning? I mean—“

“I met with Gwen—I mean, Professor Fairchild. I was hoping I’d had all those videos taken down.”

“All those—wait, you mean you didn’t make those on purpose?”

“No! Of course not!”

“But you were HOT! You and whoever that other girl was, you should be proud of that!”

“How can you say that? It was a crime what happened, and the boy who made the videos went to jail for it.”

“Okay, okay, hold on. I have no idea what you’re talking about.”

Penny sighed and collapsed onto the couch.

“How many times am I going to have to tell this fucking story!”

Maddie gasped at the half-Asian girl’s usage of such strong profanity.

“Fine! I stole my girlfriend Ayumi from her boyfriend. To get revenge on us, he hid cameras in the windows of our rooms and recorded us having sex. Then he and his cheer girl friends who used to be Ayumi’s friends, sort of, they uploaded the videos all over the internet. Like, every single AV site they could find. One girl in the robotics department already accused me of being a camgirl, whatever that is, but I’m not, I had to tell her this story. I had to tell Delaney and Gwen and I’ll have to tell Clark and Sandra and every other single person on this campus. I’m tempted to just leave. I was tempted last night to jump off the top of the dorms so I don’t have to tell this fucking story ever again. Everyone’s seen us, and those who haven’t soon will. If that girl in my robotics class could find them, everyone will.”

“Oh.” What else could Maddie say?

“And you were…” Penny crossed her arms and looked away from Maddie as she drew in on herself. “You teased me all year. And then you were watching the whole thing. Sandra said you were turned on by it. I was wondering how it would feel to see you again today. It doesn’t feel great.”

“I’m so sorry—“

“It’s fine. I’ll be fine.” Penny stood up and walked to her room. “I maybe need some private time to figure myself out like Delaney needed after she saw all that last night.”

“Penny wait—“

“Just—“

“Wait!”

Maddie leaped into Penny’s path and grabbed her. Penny struggled to free herself but something inside herself fueled Maddie's hold on Penny. The smaller girl was so strong, though, pushing Maddie back to the couch. Maddie cried out as her balance gave way. She kept her grip on Penny, pulling the half-Asian girl down on top of her.

“Let me go!”

“No!”

“I hate you, Maddie!”

“Fuck you, Penny!”

They tumbled off the couch and Maddie twisted to land on top of Penny and the smaller girl started crying.

“I hate you,” she blubbered. “I hate you.”

“I’m sorry,” Maddie said, collapsing on top of her. “I’m sorry.”

They held each other there on the floor, crying in each other’s arms.

“I hate my life so much,” Maddie blubbered. “But I hate myself for only thinking of that instead of being more concerned about your problem.”

“I’m sorry, I should have been honest with you,” Penny sobbed. “I should have said something about this earlier. I hate that everyone has seen me like this. I hate myself for it.”

They continued crying, their faces buried in each other’s shoulders. Maddie’s heart twisted with a love she had not felt in so long. Penny needed her and she was too far gone to even notice. But she had come back home with her angst and their fight had cured Maddie’s hangover and she was suddenly grateful for the other girl’s presence in her life. Penny’s crying subsided into sniffling but she did not give up her hold on Maddie. That was fine. Better than fine. She craved it, actually. A pair of strong arms, holding her tight, loving her unconditionally. Maddie took a deep breath, filling her nose with Penny’s wonderful scent and she knew she had to stop right there. The half-Asian girl was giving her too much of the affection she craved. And perhaps Penny was craving it too, especially after last night. But then, Penny spoke.

“I met someone last night.”

Maddie rolled off her and helped Penny up to the couch. Penny looked up at her with those big, dark eyes.

“What?”

“I met a girl. She helped me clean up after they—“ She swallowed a sob. “After they dumped their drinks on me. I’m going to meet her later this week to trade my borrowed clothes for my costume. She’s beautiful.”

Maddie nodded.

“It’s not like that, not yet at least. I’m done with dating for a long time. But we’ve been texting and I think someday we can get along with each other really well. She understands the situation.”

“What about Delaney?”

“What about her?”

“Are you already looking at dating someone else even though you’re already with someone? I mean, you made it kind of sound like something happened between you two…”

Penny’s face turned sour and she barked out a short laugh.

“Yeah, more like something happened to me and she was caught up in it, a totally innocent victim. I’m afraid of what happened to her when I was cleaning up, or when they were pouring their drinks on me. Ugh. What a horrible night. I hate myself so much. But anyway. After the thing, Delaney broke up with me. So I’m single again, but I probably should never have not been that way, considering my awful past.”

“I’m sorry.”

“Me too. I really liked her. But she saw the video too. It wasn’t the way between us the way it was between me and Ayumi. She was there, she could see it plain when she watched the video Leah’s friend showed.”

“Leah, that’s right. Have you talked to her about this?”

“I’m not sure I want to. She was… she was someone I thought I could trust, but it was her friend that did this. I’m trying not to hate her, but I hated you, too. I mean, really hated.”

“I guess I acted poorly last night.”

“You did. You almost attacked Sandra.”

“Sandra’s a bitch, she’d have deserved it.”

“She was the only one of you who seemed to care about me.”

Maddie winced as more memories flashed through her mind. She remembered shouting at Sandra. She remembered threatening to leave with Ralph, and then shuddered at the thought that something truly regrettable may have happened between the two of them. She did not trust Ralph’s honor, and despite the distance he maintained between them, something else that tickled her brain made her believe his friendly intentions were not so friendly.

“I’ll bet Leah cared. Still cares. But she wasn’t with us when we all left.”

“That’s right. She wasn’t.”

“So maybe something happened to her the way it happened to you. She’s definitely not a schemer. In fact, I find that she’s more honest than any girl I’ve ever met in my life.”

“More honest than me?”

Maddie smiled at her. They had just been tangled in each other’s arms, crying into each other’s shoulders, and Maddie knew the smaller girl wanted to kiss her and that if it happened she would kiss Penny back. So she knew she was not perfectly honest with Penny, and she knew Penny would never reveal just how attracted she was to Maddie, so she was not as honest as she wanted to believe. Leah, however, lived her life by her schedule. Everything was laid out for anyone glancing at her phone to see. Even her “private time” before she slept each night. Sure, maybe she would not be forthcoming with what that private time entailed in exact detail, but she was honest enough to admit she had it at all. And thus, more honest than either she or Penny was.

“Fine. Whatever. If she wants to talk to me, she knows where I live.”

“But you’re not going to seek her out.”

“Absolutely not.”

Maddie nodded.

“But I’m glad things are better between us.”

“I’m having issues myself. I know you can hear me fighting with my fiancé. But you need all of me now, so I’m all here for you.”

Penny settled down beside Maddie and smiled up at her.

“Thank you.”

“You’re welcome. You know, if you want, I’ll hunt down Clark and Sandra and tell them your story so you don’t have to relate it again.”

Penny shook her head. “I have to face it. I suppose I have to face it with everyone. I’ll be fine. I’m not suicidal anymore.”

Maddie laughed.

“I’ll get through this.”

“You have help, at least.”

Penny smiled at her and Maddie touched her shoulder, pleased to see her the way she was before last night. She would be fine. She had dealt with trauma before and she would be fine. And as Maddie considered her fiancé, she wondered if Penny would be up to helping her should the need arise in the future. Not that she was anticipating it, but she knew that no matter how nice he was that morning, another fight loomed ahead. And Penny would be there for her.

Follow The Long Winter into #30 Fortunate Daughter part two here.