The Long Winter #28
Sex, Lies, and Digital Video Uploads 2 part seven
Delaney was waiting for Penny inside the entrance as she and Bart came around the corner from the stairs. She still had her Batgirl mask in place over her face and was unable to meet Penny’s eyes. Bart let Penny’s hand go when they reached Delaney.
“I’ll be outside with the others. We’ll wait for you.”
“Thanks, Bart.”
Bart disappeared behind the door. Penny glanced around. Sorority sisters gave them space as they milled about cleaning up the mess the partiers had left behind.
“I’m sorry,” Delaney said, her soft voice barely more than a whisper.
“It’s okay. None of us could have done anything.”
“It was…”
“It’s okay. Let’s just go—“
“No.” Delaney reached out and grabbed Penny’s arm. “I was scared. I am scared. Was that really you they showed?”
Penny found this time she could not meet Delaney’s eyes. As she stared at the floor in front of the door she answered with a miserable nod.
“And that, uh, movie… that was…”
“That was me and Ayumi.”
“I see…”
“Come on. We’ll get you back—“
“Annelise said she’ll drive me home. Nadine and Sammy saw the thing, too. I, um, didn’t want to ride back with them.”
“Okay…”
Delaney finally pulled her Batgirl mask back from her face.
“It was so intense,” she said. “To see you like that.” She leaned forward and whispered. “It was so different from us. You don’t love me. Not like you love her.”
“We just started going out…”
“I don’t know if that matters. I’m…” Delaney swallowed a sob. “I need some time.”
“I understand.”
“I’m so sorry. You deserve better than me. Someone who would have fought for you. Maybe someone like that girl, your Ayumi.”
Ayumi would have fought for me, Penny thought as she bit back tears of her own.
“I’m sorry, Delaney. I didn’t think anything like this could happen.”
“I didn’t either…”
Delaney stepped forward and kissed her, hugged her, then stepped back and, now openly crying, fled from Penny’s sight. Penny took a deep breath of her own and looked at the door.
One step at a time, Penny.
I want this to end.
It’s almost over.
Permanently.
Those aren’t helpful thoughts.
I wish I had died instead of you. Ayumi wouldn’t have had to go through any of those things because of me. Delaney wouldn’t have had to deal with this. I wouldn’t have had all those drinks dumped on me and everyone wouldn’t have seen those movies. Again.
But you’re here now and those things did happen and you know you improved Ayumi's life, and probably even saved her. I think you did a lot of good for Delaney, too. She’s out now because of you, she’s able to be honest with herself. And your friends, well who knows what this is going to mean to them later?
It feels like you’re including Leah as one of my friends.
Yes, because she is.
I hate her. She let this happen. She knew something terrible was going to happen and she let it.
We don’t know anything about what happened to her tonight.
She looked normal! She looked the way she always does!
We don’t know her side. Just relax—
I’m going to kill myself and make it all irrelevant anyway.
Marv fell silent, although she could feel his disappointment, his astonishment at her thoughts. She could not live this down. She could not escape Noble’s long shadow. She should have known it would get out when that girl in the lab confronted her, but Penny's explanation seemed to have put it to rest.
Wait until you get back to school on Monday. Talk to Professor Fairchild—
And say what? That I starred in an AV and now everyone has seen me naked? Again? And that's if she hasn't already seen it, too. Everyone is going to see this. Nothing Professor Fairchild can do will help me.
She can, and she will. It feels bad right now, but things will get better.
Penny took a deep breath and raised her eyes for the door. Things would get better. Yeah. Right. Her foot went into motion and her hand reached for the handle. She could not bring herself to look back into the house. Holding back her tears she pushed everything aside and opened the door and stepped out into the cold night air. They were waiting there. Except for Leah the Betrayer, of course.
“Holy shit, Penny, are you all right?”
Penny looked up. Amazingly, Sandra was the first one before her, the brunette’s hands on her shoulders, then on her face, she looked deep into Penny’s eyes, then grabbed her and held her.
“That was something else, we wanted to help but they had this planned, they had to have.”
“I don’t think they planned the last part,” Bart said. “I don’t think they planned to let you get away and get everyone kicked out of the party.”
“I feel kind of bad that I watched,” Clark said. “I tried not to, but…”
“I didn’t try not to,” Sandra said. “I haven’t seen anything like that since softball. It was awful, but exciting. You really know how to show people a good time!”
Maddie laughed, stepping into Penny’s field of vision as Sandra backed away from Penny.
“You know what? You are the funniest person we know,” Maddie said. “Maybe I should give up my funniest girl title to you! That was a completely appropriate joke after what we just saw.”
“You liked seeing it,” Sandra shot back. “You were a second away from openly masturbating in front of everyone. If anyone else had started you’d have joined in!”
“Fuck you, Sandra!”
Maddie stepped at Sandra with her fists raising at her sides and Bart stepped between them.
“Come on, my Jeep is right here. Let’s get out of here and get some rest tonight.”
“No. I’m going back with Ralph.” Maddie glared at Penny. “Go ahead and ride with them. I’ll be back eventually.”
“Come on, Maddie, you came with us, you should come back with us,” Bart said. “This night’s been bad enough, let’s not let it end like this.”
Maddie glared at Sandra (who glared back) and then glanced at Ralph. He stood at the edge of their circle with a rather pathetic, defeated look on his face. He avoided acknowledging Penny’s suggestion.
“Fine,” Maddie said. “But I’m riding in front.”
“Fine.” Sandra tossed her hair. “I don’t want you in the back seat with me anyway.”
“Fine.”
“Great, let’s go,” Clark said, nodding at Bart.
They trudged across the grass and piled into his Jeep. Penny sat at the window and looked out at nothing as Bart pulled away. She imagined opening her door and tumbling out into traffic (what little there was). She imagined going up to the roof of the dormitory and hurling herself into space. But she knew she would not yet do it. As bad as the night had been she knew she had not yet hit the bottom. Her thought, as Bart pulled up in front of the Institute, was how much worse could things get as the winter set in.
***
The city twinkled in the night across the bay. She stood at the window and watched it, wondering if her friends were in one of those cars creeping along the roads. Mason was somewhere else in the house behind her, busy, perhaps, with something in the kitchen. More drinks? She felt she had drunk her full, although her will was ebbing and she knew when he came back her emotions would be very close to the surface. It had been all she could manage to stay calm during the debacle at the sorority house. And she had further yet to go. She pulled her focus off the town and on her reflection.
You horrible person, she thought. You absolute monster.
A cheerleader she did not recognize stared back at her. Her mother would have loved it, though. Her hair was pulled up and her eyes were no longer hidden behind thick-rimmed glasses. The uniform fit her perfectly, showing off her narrow waist and smooth legs. Those two things would not last. She would not be welcomed to exercise with Penny any longer. And the reason was walking back into the room bearing two more stiff drinks.
“I’m not sure I should be celebrating,” he said as he held one out for her. “You fucked it up at the end.”
She did not respond. She set her eyes back on the city and wished she was back in the dorm. If only she had stayed with Penny. Mason would not have been able to corner her the way he did. But she was too stupid. Too socially awkward. She was too blind to things outside of her schedule. And how was she going to fit her friends back into her schedule? Would Mason even let her?
“Have a drink. You earned that much.”
“I don’t want to drink anymore. I feel too drunk as I am.”
“You’re not nearly drunk enough.”
Mason put his hand on her shoulder and pulled her around to face him. He placed the drink in her hand and lifted his up.
“A toast to my modest success tonight.”
“That was terrible what you did.”
“If you say something like that again you’re going to remind me that you fucked the whole thing up at the end, and I am already thinking of new ways to hurt you.”
“How could you hurt me any worse? My friends are definitely turned against me. I can’t believe I did this…”
“You made your choice. Your safety for your friend’s humiliation. Right up until the end. Drink up. You earned it.”
“I won’t.”
She set the drink down and turned away from him. She heard him sigh behind her and his drink clinked down to the little table near them. His reflection flashed in the big window and his hand went to the front of her cheer top. He wrenched her back around towards him and lifted her up onto her toes. She clutched at his wrist, her struggles too weak to free herself.
“Every step of the way I’ve put up with your hesitance, and I was even willing to look past your final treachery but this is too much.”
He whirled around, throwing her across the room. She stumbled to the bed and sprawled face-first across the top. Mason was on her right away, flipping her over and holding her down. He glared down at her, his normal arrogance replaced by open rage.
“Tyler is going to love hearing what you did.”
“Go ahead and tell him.”
“Your mother and father, too. And Tommy.”
“They’ll never believe you.”
“You think you’re a capable liar? You couldn’t even make it through tonight’s festivities.”
Leah squawked with pain when he slapped her across her face. He lifted his hand and she put hers up—
“You stupid little girl.”
Instead he grabbed her hair and pulled her to her feet as he stood.
“Get the fuck out of my house.” He gave her a shove towards the big window. “Grab your jacket and get out of my fucking sight.”
She did not look back. She grabbed the borrowed varsity jacket and fled out one of the sliding doors into the cold north wind.
Follow The Long Winter into #29 Fortunate Daughter part one here.